Choices
by Akula
Summary: Evelyn's sick, Rafe is worried, both get some advice from an old friend


_Sorry I've been gone so long guys! Hope you enjoy !!_

Rafe was nervous, more nervous than ever before. His legs shook from the fear; he rubbed his sweating palms up and down his trousers as he waited. And he waited. And waited. _What was taking so long_, Rafe thought to himself? 

Evelyn had called him from home telling him that she didn't feel well. Rafe had rushed home, speeding dangerously through town and almost killing the base gate guards as he flew passed. Amazingly he arrived at their house in one piece. Sandra's car was in the driveway. Rafe didn't open the car door, just leaped over the side. As he rushed through the back door, little Danny, now 2 years old, met him at the door.

"Mama's sick." Is all Danny said as Rafe lifted him up into his arms.

"I know. Where is she?"

Danny pointed to the living room area. Rafe carried Danny into the living room with him. Rafe was shocked at what he saw. Evelyn was lying on the couch, pale as a sheet. Sweat beaded on her face. Her eyes were closed, but she was not comfortable. Her head rolled from side to side, her hair was soaked with perspiration. Sandra was taking her vital signs with a nurse's bag she had brought with her. Rafe could see that Sandra was concerned. Evelyn was due to have their child any day now. When Rafe had first got the call he thought for sure that was the reason she wasn't feeling well.

"You've got to get her to the hospital. I'll take Danny with me." Sandra stated as she took Danny from Rafe's arms. Danny went willingly, he loved his aunt Sandy.

"What's wrong with her?" Rafe asked concerned. "It isn't the baby, is it?"

"I'm not sure. But she told me it came on last night, really quickly. And this morning she was completely weak." Sandra relayed the story Evelyn told her, noting every detail so he could tell the doctor. Rafe wrapped a blanket around Evelyn and gingerly carried her out to the car. Sandra kept Danny distracted while they left, not wanting to alarm him.

Rafe carried Evelyn into the hospital. She hadn't said a word the entire trip to the hospital. Rafe had tried to rouse her several times, but she just moaned and turned away. Evelyn's doctor was waiting at the entrance. _Thank you Sandra_, Rafe silently prayed. Obviously she had called ahead to tell them they were coming. As Rafe gently placed Evelyn on the gurney, Evelyn cried out.

"Oh, God! I'm sorry, baby!! I'm sorry!" Rafe called out to Evelyn. He ran his hand down her cheek, feeling the incredible heat. Evelyn's eyes opened slightly and Rafe could see how sick she was. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused; they seemed to not "see" him, but peered through him.

"I'm sorry, Rafe." Evelyn whispered. "I wasn't strong enough. I was never strong enough."

"No, No! You're strong! You're strongest, bravest person I've ever met!" Rafe replied as he walked down the hall with the gurney.

"I wasn't brave. I betrayed you. I didn't love you enough. I should..I should," Evelyn took a shaky breath, "I should have begged you to stay with me. But I was a coward. And then." Tears streamed down Evelyn's cheeks. The nurses and doctors worked around Rafe as he held Evelyn's hand. Evelyn's hallucating, Rafe realized.

"No, you didn't betray me, Evelyn. I betrayed you. I shouldn't have wanted to be a hero. I should have stayed. I should have asked you to marry me that night." Tears filled Rafe's eyes as he spoke.

"I would've have said yes." Evelyn replied sweetly.

Rafe looked down to control the emotions ragging through his heart. "And I would have carried you to the nearest justice of the peace, and married you right then." Rafe smiled as he raised Evelyn cold knuckles to his lips and kissed them sweetly.

"That would have been good." Evelyn replied breathlessly as her eyes closed.

"Sir, we need you to step out." The nurse asked politely. 

Rafe looked down at Evelyn, who was unconscious again, and nodded in agreement. Rafe held Evelyn's hand until their fingertips brushed and he lost touch with her. The nurse gently guided him to the waiting room down the hall near the nurse's station.

"Would you like some coffee, sir?"

"No. No thank you."

The nurse ran a comforting hand across Rafe's shoulders. Many of the nurses knew Evelyn and Rafe. They all knew how much this baby meant to them. They also knew how much Evelyn meant to Rafe, and vice versa. As the nurse walked up to the nurse's station, several other nurses were standing there.

"Boy, look at him. He's really scared. God, I wish I had someone like him." The tall blonde nurse replied wistfully.

"Yeah, he loves her. He's been here for every appointment, check-up that she and their little boy have been to." The attending nurse commented.

"How is she?' asked the blonde nurse.

"We're not sure. She's sick, but the baby is far enough along that I don't think it's in any danger. But I don't know about her."

The nurses all looked at each other, and then back to Rafe. They all knew that if he lost his wife, he would be lost as well.

Evelyn floated in and out of concsious as her body battled against the pain. The doctors had determined it was appendicitis. Evelyn was aware, yet unaware, of what was going on around her. The doctor had tried to give her a dose of morphine to help with the pain, but Evelyn battled them.

"NO!! No!! You might hurt my baby! I don't want anything. I'm okay. Please." Evelyn moaned as her body was gripped with another pain. The nurses and the doctor knew the risk, but decided to dose Evelyn through her I.V. Evelyn's eyes slowly drifted shut as the drug took affect.

Evelyn awoke on the beach. The pain was gone and she was alone. She looked around her confused, then down at her body. Her stomach was flat. She gasped as she put her hand over her womb. _I must be dead_, Evelyn thought as tears pricked her eyes. _The baby must be dead, too._

"You're not dead Evelyn," a voice called behind Evelyn. 

Evelyn recognized the voice, her eyes widened as she whipped around to look at _Danny_. He walked slowly up to her. He looked like the last time she had seen him. A pair of casual slacks, a t-shirt, and a Hawaiian shirt, but no shoes is all that he wore as he stood a few feet away.

"Well, I must be dreaming, because you're dead." Evelyn stated matter of factly.

Danny smiled a crooked sweet smile. He nodded his head as he brushed his bare foot across the top of the sand. "Yeah, I'm dead. But you're not. And you're not dreaming. Well- you are, but…Evelyn I don't have much time."

"Much time for what?" Evelyn asked curiously.

"I want to tell you that this is how it should be. I'll always love you, but Rafe loved you more. He loved you enough to live after his accident. I wasn't strong enough."

"You're not being fair to yourself, Danny. It was a different situation. Besides, I was the one who wasn't strong enough. I betrayed Rafe, I betrayed you. I'm a horrible person. I didn't even have the courage to tell you about your child." Evelyn whimpered as she stated the last.

"You're not a horrible person, Evelyn." Danny grabbed Evelyn's shoulders looking straight into her eyes.

"No, No- I am! I'm selfish. I told Rafe I was pregnant with your child, and didn't tell you. I left that incredible burden on Rafe's shoulders. I didn't tell you because I still wasn't sure that I could make the choice between Rafe and you and the baby."

Danny put a finger under Evelyn's chin, lifting it to look into her eyes. "The choice was never yours to make Evelyn. God had other plans for me – I came to find out." Danny replied jokingly.

Evelyn turned away from Danny unable to look at him. She knew that she cared about Danny – she loved him as well – but not the same way she loved Rafe. She had known that even when she _decided_ to make a life with Danny. _But I really hadn't decided anything even then_, she thought. _Was I happy that Danny had died_, Evelyn thought distressingly.

"Don't think that Evelyn. Don't think it was your fault. It wasn't your fault. You and Rafe were meant to be together. God saved him in the Atlantic, and he saved him in China too. I just was too stubborn to realized it until the last moment."

Evelyn paused, and turned towards Danny. The bright light of the setting sun reflected off Danny's skin. He seemed to glow.

"What's going to happen to me and the baby?"

"I don't know."

Evelyn became very scared as she noticed a subtle change in the scenery. The beach melted away, leaving blackness and quiet. Danny stood there, his aura the only light.

"I have to go. Tell Rafe that I miss him. Take care of little Danny. I wish I could be around, but I'll check in on him from time to time. I'll check in on all of you. I love you, Evelyn."

"Danny! Wait!" Danny's imagine disappeared and the blackness engulfed Evelyn again.

Rafe's head leaned back against the wall, his mouth slack with sleep. It had been hours, and the doctors still couldn't give him answer. Finally exhaustion had claimed him and he had surrendered to it. It felt like he'd only been asleep for a few minutes when a hand touched his shoulder. Rafe's head lifted groggily, looking at the hand, up the arm to the face of its owner. Rafe's face paled in shock and his eyes widen in surprise.

"Danny?"

Danny walked casually around the chair and sat in the chair opposite. Rafe looked around, noticing that everyone was gone; the halls silent. 

"I'm dreaming aren't I, you're dead." Rafe stated. Danny shook his head and chuckled. "What's so funny?"

"Evelyn said almost the same thing to me."

"Evelyn! Why were you talking to her? She's not…she's not" Rafe stammered

Danny took Rafe's hand and squeezed gently, and smiled reassuringly. "No, Rafe, she's not."

Rafe's shoulders slumped in relief, Danny still holding Rafe's hand. Rafe glanced up, taking a big gulp, looking seriously at Danny.

"I'm not dead, am I?"

"No, Rafe! You're not dead." Danny laughed at Rafe's seriousness, cuffing him good-naturedly on Rafe's shoulder. Suddenly, Danny's smile faded, it was his turn to get serious.

"I came here to talk to you."

"About what?"

"About you and Evelyn."

"God, Danny – I'm sorry. I tried to save you, but I couldn't."

"Hey, Rafe – it wasn't your fault. It was my time. You couldn't have saved me even if you had wanted to. For once you couldn't be the hero. That must have chapped you in the ass."

"I'm not a hero." Rae state plainly.

"No, you're more than a hero. You're a pilot, a husband, a father and a friend. A true friend." Rafe's eyes misted with tears as Danny listed all the things he was. 

"Is Evelyn going to die?" Rafe asked pleadingly.

"I don't know, Rafe. I'm sorry."

"I don't know what I'll do if I loose her, Danny. I can't loose you both. And poor Danny, I can't raise him by myself."

"Rafe, Rafe, you talk as if she's already in the ground. She isn't and neither is your child. You have to have faith."

"Faith? In what? It never got me anything but whipped when I was younger. And as I got older, the only faith I had was in you and myself. Look what it got me, I lost my best friend."

"Look at what it got you, Rafe. A glorious career any pilot would envy, a beautiful wife, a family.." Danny couldn't finish because Rafe interrupted him.

"Only because you got killed!" Rafe screamed. Rafe put his head in his hands, looking dejected.

"It was meant to be – you and Evelyn, hell, even little Danny. He was always supposed to be yours. He should have been yours." Danny stated directly. "You know Rafe, God doesn't chose people's lives for them. He just sets up the chess board. Sometimes the move works just like he wants. And then sometimes - something, or someone, trumps his play. But, he uses what he's got to get ya back where you should've been all along."

As Danny's words sunk in, Rafe realized that Danny was trying to help – even in death, he was trying to help him. Danny stood up, Rafe looked up at him, curious.

"I've got to go. Take care of her, Rafe. Don't forget that it was always meant to be this way. I'll see you in the skies." With that Danny walked off town the hall and slowly faded away. Rafe slowly laid his head back against the wall and closed his eyes in prayer.

"Captain McCawley? Captain McCawley, wake up," the nurse gently nudged Rafe's shoulder as she tried to rouse him.

"Danny!" Rafe called as he sat up, fully awake. He seemed confused as he looked around, then he settled on the blonde nurse.

"You can go in to see her now." The nurse pointed down the hall to room where Evelyn had last been. Rafe stood up quickly and then looked to the nurse nervously.

"Is she alright?"

"She's fine. Although, she went through a rough time of it."

"A rough time? How long have I been asleep?" Rafe asked curiously.

"Almost 9 hours, I'm surprised that you don't have a kink in you neck." The nurse smirked

"9 hours!" Rafe ran down the hall, meeting the doctor half way. The doctor saw Rafe's expression and pulled him aside. Rafe tried to pass but the doctor wouldn't let him.

"Captain, Captain, please let me explain! Your wife is fine. She had appendicitis which required surgery."

"Surgery!" Rafe yelled.

"Minor surgery. She's resting now and should be awake in a few hours, She been through quite a lot."

"Is the baby okay?" Rafe asked anxiously.

"Your daughter is fine and healthy."

"My daughter?!" Rafe stared at the doctor as if he just grown two heads. "You mean, Evelyn had the baby already?"

"Well, that was the problem. She started to go into labor about the same time the appendicitis became worse. She was probably in labor for about 2 days now, but thought it was associated with her illness." The doctor noted a few things in Evelyn's chart. "Immediately after delivery, we took her up to surgery and removed her appendix. All in all I think everything is fine, she'll be able to go home in a few days." The doctor closed the chart and glanced at Rafe. "In the meantime, why don't you go in and see her, just a few minutes."

Rafe opened the door slowly, peering cautiously into the darkened room. Evelyn pale face was visible against the white pillowcase. He dark hair pulled back away from her face. Her left arm and hand laid on top of the blankets, along side her body. Rafe noticed her body was different, now that she had delivered their child. _A daughter_, Rafe thought wondrously. On her left hand was the plain gold band wedding band Rafe had placed there all those months ago. He had wanted to get her something grander, but she had refused over and over again.

Rafe sat in the chair adjacent to her bed. He picked up her pale hand. Rafe noted how slack and cool it was, compared to its normal warmth. Rafe brought it to his lips and kissed it fervently. He held it to his cheek and looked at her face. Rafe couldn't bare to see her like this. He closed his eyes again in guilt, but as he did the Evelyn's hand slowly moved out of his grasp and down is cheek. He looked up quickly into bright eyes and a sweet smile.

"I'm okay, Rafe." 

Rafe nodded blindly, trying not to control his emotions.

"Have you seen her?" Evelyn whispered weakly.

"No, but I'm sure she beautiful." Rafe whispered back as he stroked the hair from Evelyn's forehead.

"I don't know. I didn't get to see her before I passed out." Evelyn stated sadly. Rafe saw the wistful look in Evelyn's eyes as she looked away. Rafe knew what he had to do. He went to the door and called for the nurse. After a few moments, Rafe convinced the nurse to get their daughter and bring her to them. Rafe returned to his seat next to Evelyn's bed. Evelyn's eyes were closed, but he knew she wasn't sleeping. They waited anxiously for the nurse to bring them their new baby.

The door opened and the blonde nurse carried a wrapped bundle towards Rafe. Rafe suddenly felt nervous about handling the baby. He awkwardly took the small bundle from the nurse as she left. Rafe looked down at the healthy, pink baby. She had a sweet, quiet face with a fine coating of light brown hair on her head. She didn't stir as Rafe walked back to Evelyn's bed. Evelyn's eyes opened as Rafe approached the bed. She tried to sit up, but Rafe stopped her. He gingerly laid the precious bundle on Evelyn's chest. Evelyn's eyes welled up with tears as she looked at the baby girl. Rafe leaned over them both, suddenly understanding Danny's words

It was always meant to be like this. 


End file.
